i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
