I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
