there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
