I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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