so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
