It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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