tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Randomize