Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
