Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
