waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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