My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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