An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's blow job season.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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