Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
