I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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