So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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