I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
