You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
