You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
