Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And then my night got REAL pukey
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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