He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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