She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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