the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
