it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize