He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
