Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
