Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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