yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
