How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
