If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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