Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize