sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I look better un-naked...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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