I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
