Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
