Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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