If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
