It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
