Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
