someone get that fucking seahorse.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
