UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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