She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
