They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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