I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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