You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
