It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize