Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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