Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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