Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
