After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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