just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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