if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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