if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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