that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
