he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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