Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize