Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
