I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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