You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
