i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
