My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
