i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
