i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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