Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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