Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize