Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What a dumb baby whore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
